NLP TECHNIQUES FOR DEALING WITH THE PAST

As I have already announced, I will use English for my posts since many of my readers do not speak Romanian, and most of my Romanian readers speak English. I will continue to write about NLP and personal development, because this is the kind of education that makes the difference between ordinary people and the extraordinary ones. In the future, I will start another blog, exclusively in Romanian. Yet, the level of English I am using is B2 to make my blog accessible to as many people as possible.

At the same time, I would like to tell you that on 15th December I am going to launch my book, HAPPINESS GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS on Amazon, and if my marketing research will show it fit, I will publish it paperback as well.

My blog chose its language and destination by the readers it attracted, so I decided to make it less my voice and more a practical approach on the needs of my readers. I will try to post three times a week, an English lesson, the key to practice and a practical article on personal development. And let us start with a good topic, I may say: Dealing with the past.

My favourite quotation about that is that of dr. Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP: "The best thing about the past is that it is over".

I think that psychology and psychoanalysis obsess too much on the past event. The saying that 'a person's past is a good indicator of the future' may be valid if we deal with a limited person who relies on the same patterns all the time, but it isn't for sure the case of my readers or of the people who develop personally.

If people were obsessed with the successes they had in the past, it would be a good thing, but they repeat over and over again the bad feelings they had, or the voices telling them bad things, or the films of the actions that made them feel bad, hoping to get rid of those feelings. Re-living the past does not make room for the future, I am afraid, or has a bad influence on the future.

The best thing you can do about the past is to leave it behind, and to do that, I learnt from dr. Bandler some very efficient techniques:

1. when you deal with a bad feeling you got, if you close your eyes, you will notice that it rotates inside you. If you spin it faster, it will make you feel even worse. What you can do, is spin the feeling in the opposite direction, and you will notice that it weakens. You could continue by remembering a time when you felt really good, and if you don't, imagine one. take the feeling of well-being and rotate it faster and faster until it fills you with joy.

2. if the bad feelings are produced by a voice repeating bad things to you, make sure that you take that voice out of your head and you make it speak like Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse while it tells you the bad things. It will certainly make you laugh and change your perspective and feelings.

3. if the past is coming back to you by means of huge 3D motion pictures, first, you need to gradually shrink the film until it is as big as a coin, blink it black and white several times and turn it off by means of a big button from an old TV set (the kind our grandparents had).

Using these techniques, I was able to stay out of conflicts,  delete from my memory  such sad events as the funerals and was able to remember those people as they were during their life, the bad times when I was sick.

In conclusion, learn the lessons of the past, but quickly move to the present moment and imagine big successful films about you in the future.

PS. If you want my articles or my English lessons directly to your email address, do not forget to subscribe to my site.

RETETA BANDLER ANTI-AMANARE

Cred ca daca am vreun motiv clar sa fiu nemultumita de mine, acela e legat de meteahna mea de-a amana la nesfarsit micile sarcini pe care le am de facut. Si cele mari :))

Si pun pariu ca nu-s singura din lume...In ultima vreme am observat ca duc la indeplinire un numar respectabil de obiective, unele dintre care erau amanate de foarte mult timp si nu mai pareau ca vor fi indeplinite vreodata. E vorba de o tehnica ce chiar da rezultate... Richard Bandler (co-fondator al NLP) si trainerul meu, ne explica faptul ca amanam lucrurile pentru care nu avem imagini clare in minte. De exemplu, eu trebuia de ceva timp (2 luni) sa rezolv o problema tehnica legata de un proiect si sa scriu cateva emailuri. Azi, inainte sa ajung acasa, mi-am imaginat niste emailuri mari cat peretele, iar cand m-am asezat la calculator...guess what?, emailurile amanate de luni de zile au fost scrise in 10 min. In urmatoarele 5 am rezolvat si problema tehnica.

Amanam lucrurile care nu ne sunt clare in minte. De aceea, pentru sarcinile mici si medii, construiti imagini/filme gigant in minte, iar proiectele mai mari, impartiti-le in bucati mai mici si pentru fiecare dintre ele faceti la fel ca inainte. Clarificati imaginea sau filmul actiunii pe care trebuie s-o faceti cat mai mult la nivel mental si veti vedea ce usor va va fi sa treceti la treaba. Lasati listele scrise deoparte si constientizati la nivel mental, cat mai clar ce aveti de facut.

E posibil sa mai fiti impiedicati de o voce critica din capusorul vostru, care amana treaba pe motiv ca n-ati fi pregatiti s-o duceti la capat. Si cu cat trece timpul, cu atat vocea e mai puternica. E bine sa intelegem ca acea voce ne vrea binele, dar tonalitatea e de multe ori ascutita si stridenta (cum s-a inregistrat poate de la criticile profesorilor sau parintilor). Schimbati tonalitatea intr-una blanda si duioasa, si veti vedea cum se schimba lucrurile. Negociati apoi cu ce simtiti ca impiedica succesul actiunii si gasiti solutia. Nu veti mai simti ca nu sunteti pregatiti sa actionati.

Si chiar daca ati mai incercat in trecut si ati esuat, ca sa-l citez pe Dr. Bandler, "singurul lucru bun in legatura cu trecutul este ca s-a terminat". Asa ca lasati psihanaliza si...

Urmatorul pas: Just do it! Actionati, si o sa vedeti cum se rezolva treburile.

In concluzie: Clarificati, vizualizati si actionati!

Sa-mi spuneti daca a dat rezultate si la voi.

Va pup!

Daca ti-a placut articolul, ar putea sa-ti placa si capitolele PUTEREA DETERMINARII precum si INFRUNTAREA AMANARII din cartea mea GHID DE FERICIRE PENTRU INCEPATORI precum si articolele

http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/2013/01/succes-numele-tau-e-determinare.html

http://balanstefana.blogspot.ro/2012/12/cum-sa-te-simti-motivat-pentru-scoala.html

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